Home and Garden

So with this years tax return I had told my wife we would get a new patio set and Barbeque Grill. Saturday night she says she found the best deal on-line at the Home Depot site and it even had free shipping on the Patio set that we both like (not that my opinion matters), and we will get the grill at a store since it should fit in the SUV.

I say great, I will order the patio set online now, thinking that Home Depot is 5minutes away and Lowes is 10 minutes away I could knock out the Sunday chores in short order tomorrow. Not so fast, Robotman. The Furor orders that we will first we will go to Sears, which at the lame ass mall, the other further away Home Depot, and Lowes. My afternoon plans with the Green Fairy foiled.

So I get up extra early Sunday to make sure I have time for at least a spliff before the sucky Sunday I am about to have. We get to Sears and the place is a ghost town, couldn’t tell you how they are still in business. After like a half hour patio analysis and another 30 minute grill debate. I find a lone employee and find out almost none of the grills are in stock and it will take weeks to order and deliver them. Plus delivery is $65. Exit stage left.

At the faraway Home Depot we found out that the Patio shipping was only free if you ordered online and they didn’t have the BBQ grill we like. After that she had to stop at Ross for some curtain rod nonsense. By this time the spliff effect was long gone and I had a hellish cotton mouth, so while she’s in Ross, I go to pharmacy. I was already done with my drink before I even got the register. Yet another molasses line I had to stand in. After that, a useless trip to Lowes and I was at the breaking point. It’s been like 5 hours and we didn’t accomplish jack shit. Meanwhile I have Fashion Show calling and texting about a ride.

We get home and pick up Fashion Show. My son hasn’t needed rides lately as his girlfriend has her license and car, and by the look of them you would think they were going to a Jim Morrison & Janice Joplin look-alike contest. We drop off Fashion Show, go to Chili’s where I slam 4 Jack and Cokes (all day happy hour!) 2 strawberry daiquiris to chill The Furor and stuff our faces. After that found the BBQ grill we wanted at a great price at the Home Depot close to my house and ordered the Patio online. Oh yeah, and spent like 4 hours that putting the grill together that night. I am the Robotman.