Super bowl weekend & my state of the art TVs

In the words of Sacopapa, Alteregoman reporting for duty. I haven't had a chance to post anything because I barely have time (a future post for sure) to wipe my ass, much less sit down and string together some coherent thoughts.

This past weekend I was celebrating my birthday. Fortunately for me, the best present I ever could've received came courtesy of the UFC. A massive mma (mixed martial arts) event Sat. night pitting champion vs. champion. Georges St. Pierre (welterweight champ) vs. BJ Penn (lightweight champ). For anyone who likes hand to hand combat between 2 people, this is the sport of the future. And I love it. I wish this would have come about when I was younger and you would have seen me whooping people's asses. Anyway, to make a long store short, St. Pierre demolished BJ Penn in 4 rounds to remain the #1 welterweight in the world. Awesome, awesome shit and an even better birthday present.

So Sunday came around and it was football time. I'm not really a big football fan anymore but I'm always down to drink mass quantities of beer while watching any good sports event (except soccer, thats not a real American sport). And the Steelers were my old team from back in the day. By the way, the Cardinals lost that game at halftime when they let a 250lb linebacker run 100 yards without taking him down. Terrible display of tackling. I think they had 5 or 6 shots at the guy.

Now came the fun part for me. On top of my state of the art computers, I also had some state of the art TVs. I used to have 3, all tubes. Funny enough, just like my current prehistoric computer, one of the TV's got to the point where it had to warm up before it started working too. It finally died like a day before the move. Even I had to laugh at that shit. Nonetheless, I am now down to two TVs. Why am I bringing this up, pray tell??

About 2 weeks ago, I woke up on the couch like at 3AM. I sleep with the TV on so when I woke up, I noticed something awry. I tried to change the channel and couldn't. Great, the fucking TIVO wasn't working. But since it was 3 in the fucking morning and I had to go to work in a few hours, (Yuck!!), I just said to myself, "I'll deal with it tomorrow." Still, I was fucking annoyed as I went to bed. Next day rolled around and I investigated the problem. After about 5 minutes of looking at wires thinking, "I'm fucked". I looked at the back of the TV set. I didn't realize it but the cable wasn't connected to the TV set. And thats where shit got gross. It wasn't disconnected, the adapter from the TV set was ripped out. It was still connected to the cable. The back of the TV had a hole in it. Great. One of my only sources of enjoyment was now being threatened. Curse the Gods!!!

To make a long story short, I handled it the same way the old mgmt co of where I used to live handled shit.........I jimmyrigged it. Its comical too because I didn't use tape or anything. I managed to jam the fucking cable cord back in the hole, making contact with whatever the fuck broke off on the inside. Guahiro style, once again. And thats how it was for 2 weeks. There was even a point last week where for a few days, you would walk around the apt and it would cause the TV to lose reception and/or get the snowy picture effect. I kid you not. You can't make this shit up. Thank the Gods (the same ones I was just cursing out before) that nothing happened during the UFC fights. But, I can't say the same for the SuperBowl.

Right as I go to sit down to watch the second half, BAM!!! Snowy picture. "Unfucking real, this is not happening," I thought. And the game was actually exciting in the first half. So I get about to fixing this horrible change of events. Yeah, right!!! After fighting life for about 10 - 15 minutes, I gave up. You have to understand. I was trying to jam some broken cord into the back of a TV set behind this wall unit, contorting myself like some fucking pretzel, trying not to get electrocuted. I even had to get Queen Succubus involved because I'm not Plastic Man and I could't see if what I was doing was even making a difference. On a frustration scale of 1-10, I was a 15.

Like I said, I gave up. I just couldn't deal. With some help, I managed to remove the TV from the stand and staggered a few feet (with this 36-inch monster, mind you). Great, now there's a beautiful art deco piece in the living room. I proceeded to get my last TV, the 27-incher, hooked it up and finished watching the SuperBowl. Awesome game, not so awesome view. Some people say I should be happy I even have a TV. I say fuck off.

Until next time, peace. I'm out........