One thing I can’t complain about with The Furor is neatness. She is a female Felix Unger and just the cleanest and neatest person I know. Everything in plastic boxes, baggies, and put away. All is very nice, neat and organized.The problem is a lot of times when she cleans she reorganizes and I don’t know where anything is afterwards. I have to be fucking Sherlock Holmes and try to figure out where the shit is if she is not around. The other day she wasn’t home I needed to open a bottle of wine and couldn’t find the opener. For some reason she wouldn’t answer the cell phone so it took me a half hour to open the bottle with a couple of knives and I ended up with a cut finger and half the cork fallen in the bottle.
Last weekend I had to take a bath, and noticed the soap was spent, and couldn’t find where the new damned bars of soap have been secured. The Furor was with Fashion Show at the hairdresser, so I call them and my daughter answers. She ends up asking The Furor in front of the whole salon. Later when I went to Beauty Salon to pick up Fashion Show I found I was the joke of the day at fag central. It was so funny I forgot to laugh.
Of course I can’t complain because then I’ll get, “what, you don’t want me to clean!?” and that is one path not even Indiana Jones would dare go down.
I’ve been holding a shit as I write this and guess what? I know we have toilet paper and baby wipes as I recently purchased a freight train full of both at Costco. Now my choices are, look for them and possibly shit my pants, call her at her friend’s house so they can all have a good laugh, clean my ass with paper towels, or clean my ass in the shower. Stay tuned for an ass cleaning update. I am the Robotman.
Last weekend I had to take a bath, and noticed the soap was spent, and couldn’t find where the new damned bars of soap have been secured. The Furor was with Fashion Show at the hairdresser, so I call them and my daughter answers. She ends up asking The Furor in front of the whole salon. Later when I went to Beauty Salon to pick up Fashion Show I found I was the joke of the day at fag central. It was so funny I forgot to laugh.
Of course I can’t complain because then I’ll get, “what, you don’t want me to clean!?” and that is one path not even Indiana Jones would dare go down.
I’ve been holding a shit as I write this and guess what? I know we have toilet paper and baby wipes as I recently purchased a freight train full of both at Costco. Now my choices are, look for them and possibly shit my pants, call her at her friend’s house so they can all have a good laugh, clean my ass with paper towels, or clean my ass in the shower. Stay tuned for an ass cleaning update. I am the Robotman.
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so did you take the shit?? find the toilet paper???
ReplyDeleteIn last minute desperation I spotted a box of kleenex tissues in Fashion Show's room. The unholy things that happend to the contents of that flower decorated box I cannot detail.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy I know where the toilet paper is in my house....lol
ReplyDeleteI wonder if part of the box smells like shit now in Fashion Show's room?
ReplyDeleteThe box never made it back to her room. With the few remaining tissues in I disgustingly blew my nose. Later on I heard fashion show asking The Furor where the new tissue boxes are..
ReplyDelete