10 items or less

So I’m at the 10 items or less aisle at Publix. First, this isn’t a rant about 11 items, though those people are assholes and should be slapped anyway. The purpose of the 10 items or less line is for speed, to move quickly out of the store. I had a deli sandwich, fried chicken, a small box of papas rellenas, bananas, and a bag of chips with money ready in my hand. It’s after work and I am bringing dinner home.

Once I get a good look at the lady in front of me, I immediately get the feeling I’m in trouble, but already have time vested in this line. Off the bat, she wants to use some coupons, but she doesn’t have them. She tells the cashier teen-age chick she needs the flyer. The girl lazily sloths over to another cashier, finds one and returns. Then a coupon ripping frenzy and a coupon qualifying item discussion takes place. People behind me begin to leave the line. Finally, after like 15 minutes including a coupon scanning hassle, all is rung up and the cashier announces the total to the lady. The lady looks for her wallet or whatever for a good 60-90 seconds, a lifetime in this scenario. I guess initially she thought the shit was free, because having to pay seemed to hit her like a big fucking surprise. Then, for her next trick she takes out her checkbook and asks the cashier for pen. I almost collapse then and there, holding on to the counter. The cashier then requested the lady’s driver’s license, which took the lady another minute of searching her bag, only after she wrote out the check in a deliberate casual manner. Another couple of minutes pass with the teenager chick writing on the check and wrestling the check into the check slider thing. Finally it seems the transaction is done. For the cherry on top, the lady holds up line to balance her checkbook before she moves on with the bagboy. No tip for that bagboy. By the look on his face he knew it also.

It is clear that this lady is a rude sub-human beast that has no manners or consideration for any other person on earth. She is a cunt and a pig, No one can argue this these cold hard facts. Regardless, it is not her fault that this happened. It is the fault of Publix. If you have a 10 items or less line, it should also be a no check line since the purpose of the line is to get you out of the store quickly and efficiently and paying by check is slooow. Now a person like that vile lady would probably get on the line anyway, but at least have the policy in place and a sign. I would have recommended this to Publix, but there was no manager around, I was hungry, in a hurry, and the cashier could give two shits about shit and does have a pretty bad acne problem to worry about. Later my kids mentioned that the chicken was a bit cold and my wife asked what took me so long. To finish my supermarket lament, I bring you The Clash....