My State of the Art Computers

Right now, it sucks to be Alteregoman. Why, you ask?? Well, where do I start. Ah, yes, we'll start with my state of the art computers. Surely, I jest. I have a desktop computer from, you know what, I don't even remember. I think 2002, I have no fucking clue. The bottom line is, as one can imagine, its 2009. If it were up to Queen Succubus, this would have been in the trash in 2006. I'm surprised the fucker still works. And it does, but boy is my patience wearing thin.

For example, just a half hour ago I started it up. Its like a car, it has to warm up for a few minutes to work effectively. Let me rephrase that, it has to warm up for a few minutes to work. Period. After waiting 5 minutes (avg wait time)I read SugarKing's post and wanted to make a comment, a simple one minute task. Not for Alteregoman. For me, the process took 15 minutes. (I used to get really pissed off, now I just get semi aggravated). After what seemed like an eternity, I posted the comment and forgot to log on under my name. Great, I am such an asshole!! Damn it, here we go again. I tried to log on, and I did, 5 MINUTES LATER!!! Unreal..

It gets better. Since I just moved recently, I have no desk because the old one was garbage and had to be discarded. And I can't afford one right at this moment. So I have the guajiro special, two trays put together in this perpendicular formation. The keyboard and monitor take up 50% of the space. There are 2 small lansing speakers on the corners. My mouse pad is, hold on, I have to take a look. This is actually funny. (I remember seeing this guy in the middle of the night on every fucking channel on TV). I have this Carlton Sheets No Down Payment Step-by-Step manual as my mouse pad which also doubles as my writing area. I have room for a drink and maybe an ashtray but that's it. I shit you not.

I haven't yet discussed the laptop, which at the time of purchase, was another kick-ass piece of machinery. Now, not so much. It works perfectly fine except for one little issue. The o button doesn't work. And at any moment, if you're in Word or some type of writing program, the o just starts popping up continuously, like this...ooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
Pretty fucking weak, huh. Any guess what your Highness' suggestion was like 2 years ago?? Throw it away. Typical. "Get a new one." Thats her response for everything, even if its new. Must be nice being rich.

I am happy to report the piece of shit prehistoric desktop actually held up during me writing this crap. At any moment, it could've frozen, leaving me wondering whether its stuck or just painstakingly slow. Who fucking knows. I pray it saves this shit before spazzing. Personally, I feel like whipping this processor against a concrete wall. Soon, grasshopper, soon....

I hope you enjoyed this private bitch and whine fest with Alteregoman and my state of the art computers. Until next time, peace. I'm out.........