Face to Facebook

I know it’s kind of gay, but I have an account on Facebook.

I tried myspace, but the interface is annoying and ugly. Also, I really don’t want to know that much about my kids. It’s just not healthy for anyone involved. Hopefully and probably what I taught them in their younger days will carry through and they will be good people, but with this whole middle age crisis thing going at the same time as the teenage “I know everything and am invincible” era (boy and girl so I get a taste of the both very different worlds) it’s not as easy as back in the day. So forget myspace patrolling. They have fucking cell phones I pay for if I need to contact them.

In the two months I’ve been on FB it’s cool to see what has become of old high school & college classmates, military buddies, or whatever. What is truly entertaining is to see what freaks they have become and which freaks became normal. Reformed druggies and wacked out bookworms. It’s more of a reunion thing at my age that a social calendar or contact list as I imagine it is for younger people.

Here are 10 notes or observations I made about FB:

1.Most single chicks in their 40’s are fucking out of their minds. That is some dangerous territory. Scary, scary stuff. Weird diets, yoga, cleansings, high on life. Whew. A guy needs be like 55-60 years old to deal with that. The extra years of wisdom are required. I would be just baffled.

2.“Your family is beautiful” is a very popularly used phrased on FB. “You look just the same” is a close second.

3. People are all so nice and friendly with open identities, rare on the internet. This is lightyears away from the hate spewing on the old “Klingon Ridges” threads on the Star Trek Discussion Forum before the answer was canonized.

4.No one I knew ever became famous. Not even close, Bud!

5.Most people I knew, including myself, are fat. The fat ones are still fat and many of the thin ones are now fat.

6.Hot chicks have many friends.

7.Married guys all have that “I have been domesticated and trained“ family picture posted. Like that wasn’t the guy with the beer funnel and bong tube in his mouth at the same fucking time a few years back. (note: that’s still you man!!)

8.Large of amounts people from North Jersey moved to South Florida. Like fucking geese flying down for the winter and staying forever.

9.Even though FB is kind of gay and lame, it’s much cooler than work.

10.My wife is my friend. On FB at least.

Well that’s all I have for now on this topic. If there is any observation you would like to add please comment, as FB seems to be a bottomless pit of material. Godspeed friends, I am the Robotman.